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Narratio
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Joined: 23 Oct 2004
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Location: Thailand or Siberia

PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 9:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I noted that you lacked malevolence when reading your application for the post of henchgoat. And that's fine. Ruling UH doesn't require malevolence.

Of course, it may require a coffee latte with extra sugar. Or possibly a cherry coke with a slice of lemon... Hmmm, things to consider.

Very well Bob, bring forth your churro-squisher/soul-crusher and let's go get Steveo.
..
..
You did wash your hooves before offering that donut, didn't you?
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bobthegoat
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 1:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Narratio wrote:
You did wash your hooves before offering that donut, didn't you?


Of course not! That would have been in gross violation of the henchbeing incompetence requirement.

BTW, when can I get those Velcro combat boots? Having my shoe laces untied, while normally incompetant, is merely do a lack of fingers not incompentence. Mixing up the sugar and arsenic, on the other hand, that was incompetence off "I Love Lucy" quality. Very Happy
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Narratio
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2005 9:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah yes, and the scene where you were wandering around with TA's Fruit-Of-The-Looms caught on your horns was a classic. I'm still getting fan mail on that one.

Okay, the budget for funding velcro on the boots is a little tight at the moment. Okay, I admit maybe we don't need all the special effects, multiple camera shots and MTV type edits. But, if we're going to rule UH, we have to have visual style!

By the way, do you like my sweater? Mom knitted it for me. It was an Xmas present! Look, here's Santa and his sleigh...
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bobthegoat
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 2:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Geez, FINE! But I want any residuals on the episode where I trip over the untied laces and land with my snout in the chocolate cake. The "celery salary" just ain't working, even with the monthly peanut butter bonuses.

The sweater is very nice though. I think it's cute how she not only calls you her "little man", but apparently thinks you actually are. The fact that you were able to tie the arms around your neck and not choke is impressive. The snowman is particularly well detailed, too.

(And remember kids, Xmas is like Christmas, but more X-TREME! [This message brought to you by the Bureau for Agnostica Acceptance])
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Narratio
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, the snowman is my favourite as well. I really like that carrot nose, I think she used a real carrot.

Okay with the residuals. There are problems with the episode where we try to invade Hetta's secret arborium though. All those doors and stuff? Apparently the producers of 'Get Smart' think we're doing a rip off.

Right, we've got TA, let's go get JIM. And look, here's a black "secret agents" woolen hat my Mom knitted just for you! It's got these bits for keeping your horns warm and ear flaps and everything. See, she's even sown your name on the inside! Hmmmm, mispelt 'Bob' though.
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 6:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No, she simply used the Welsh spelling: Baughb. No one's used that version since I was 5. I'm just curious how she knew.

Guess she could have the Qwghlm spelling, qBfFbM, but no one outside of Inner Qwghlm can really pronounce it with the right click-gulp sound.

Anyway, I set a trap for JIM that I don't think even he can resist.
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Narratio
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 02, 2005 6:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bob... Only Hetta has fallen for it so far.
..
..
Are you sure you got the reciepes right?
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was wondering about the Super-Atomic Taste. I knew should have used some extra tantalum to cover the taste of the neurotoxin, but I was out of crushed capacitors. I really need to restock when I go shopping. Good thing the electronics store also stocks Top Ramen and Mountain Dew, otherwise I might have to go to two stores.
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Narratio
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 9:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You've got a better class of electronics store than me. Although mine does a nice toasted bagel with refried beans for the steady customers.

Thier coffee sucks though.
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Hetta
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 2:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Narratio wrote:
Their coffee sucks though.

Well, what are you waiting for? Suck back!
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Narratio
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2005 11:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's not that easy Hetta.

There you are engaged in a mano et robota battle of 'suck-power', while the nerd heads comment upon how your pocket protector doesn't match your plus fours' or the rippied puma trainers. And then they'll start on why your glasses don't have the obligatory 12 Ib of tape holding the frames together and how you only have 14 mechanical pencils and NO erasable ink pens... and then the coffee machine starts to cheat by pumping ersatz espresso down your favourite pink teddy bear shirt and that gets your best HP-52c calculator wet, and the LED's short out and you KNOW that they're a bitch to find at any time. About this point you're running out of breath and the machine starts heating up and the Intel rep stops by with 3 beta chips that he wants people to test to destruction and you can't leave the struggle against the machine, so that dork with the slicked down hair and matching pimples gets one and you're left in an emptying electronics shop with a loosing battle against a coffee maker that cheats and you STILL haven't got your copy of Electrical Dweeb Monthly.

It's really just not that easy.
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Hetta
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 12:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Narratio wrote:
There you are engaged in a mano et robota battle of 'suck-power'...
... It's really just not that easy.

Marvellous.

You forgot about the pink tutu, though. And the paper towels that are stuck to the soles of your shoes ...
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 9:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hetta! I would never forget my pink tutu. Although I would say that the blue one matches my eyes better.

Paper towels? You know, I never noticed them before. I think I was too busy worrying about my cardboard belt with the shredding buckle holder and how to get my 1976 hush puppies re-soled.
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bobthegoat
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2005 11:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know this great resouling place. They have a wide selection of souls from ages and alignments for all price ranges. I got the soul of South American tribal medicine man in exchange for mine and the blood of a virgin goat. Now, I can hex all of my least favorite soccer teams. The only downside is that this bone through my nose really hurts.

I also really admire your evilness, sir, in resouling you food. That must be excruciating for them. Very Evil.
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Narratio
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I try to be evil Bob, I really do. But so few people care...

Bob, I'm going to promote you. No longer shall you rank (really rank) as 'Henchgoat'. From now on, you shall be a 'Supervisory Henchgoat'. This position brings with it another 3 Matzo balls a day and as much shredded carrot as you can eat. Well done!

And now, we must go about our evil deeds! Come Bob, let us away!
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