You're a flaming what?

[Maracus]

My house I tell you, my house was on fire. Before that was my car. I'm still alive, and have most of my skin intact, but this is becoming ridiculous. Last night, around midnight the upstairs apartment had a gas fire. I put it out, but still. Ick. Just had to share that.

[TechnoAtheist]

Holy CATS!

Glad to hear you're alive and all, and naturally if you need any help with anything let me know, but HOLY CATS!

[Geez, first <a href="http://www.steveospage.com/blog/index.php?pb=1&p=1185">Steve get's hit by a truck</a>, then <a href="http://www.man-man.org/blog/index.php?p=185">Matt nearly kills himself on his bike</a>, now someone seems to want to barbeque you. I'm beginning to develop a black cat complex. Maybe for the benefit of humanity (or at least the humanity that I call friends) I should go live in a cave cut off from the world for a while. ]
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The Grayhound Chronicles
"TGC is less like a web serial and more like the Al Azif in bite-size form."
--~Steve-o

[Maracus]

Many thanks. I actually came of the best of the three, I've managed to escape both without bodily injury. The car caught on fire because of the rusted floor-board. Turns out the only thing underneath my feet was some carpet and iron-oxide. The rust fell out, and the catalytic converter set the carpet on fire. While I was driving. The young private next to me started yelling about how she could see flames, and I started stomping the carpet to extinguish that BBQ glow coming up from beneath the dash.

The apartment fire we think was a result of a combination between some bad wiring, and a playing cat. The cat is o.k., the wall behind the dryer is not..., well lets just say it isn't anything at all any more. The fire department took it out with axes after I put out the fire.

I'm fine on this end though, the only thing I need now is a nap, since it happened at midnight, and they wouldn't let me back into my apartment for 2 hours afterwards to let the gas and carbon monoxide clear.
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Those who ask themselves "why?", to the same questions are lacking in creativity. Make something up.