Once again, it's Christmas

Narratio · Posted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 9:01 pm Post subject: Once again, it's Christmas

Dear Potential Plaintiff/Petitioner,

I wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting to my friends, associates and colleagues, but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my solicitor today, and on his advice (and after £299 in solicitor's fees) I wish to say the following:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Britain great (not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "Britain" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Disclaimer:

No trees were harmed in the sending of this message; however, a significant number of electrons were inconvenienced.

With very best wishes

The Potential Defendant/Respondent
_________________
Age and cunning will always beat youth and talent.

TechnoAtheist · Überdork Joined: 08 Aug 2002 Posts: 922 Location: !Boise

And may fortune smile upon you*

*Professional fortune used on a closed course for demonstration purposes only. Do not attempt to use fortune in this manner. Fortune may cause drowsiness, bowel irritation, nausea, shortness of breath, hair growth, and foot odor. If fortune persists longer than four hours, seek immediate medical care. Not all fortunes are the same, your fortune may vary. Not available in all states. For external use only.
_________________
The Grayhound Chronicles
"TGC is less like a web serial and more like the Al Azif in bite-size form."
--~Steve-o

Narratio · Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2006 8:36 am Post subject:

Is that fortune void in Omaha, Nebraska or where prohibited by law?
_________________
Age and cunning will always beat youth and talent.

TechnoAtheist · Überdork Joined: 08 Aug 2002 Posts: 922 Location: !Boise

I'm afraid I can't comment on that due to pending legal proceedings.
_________________
The Grayhound Chronicles
"TGC is less like a web serial and more like the Al Azif in bite-size form."
--~Steve-o

Narratio · Posted: Wed Feb 08, 2006 9:32 pm Post subject:

I've just recieved an email from a web based retailer. The advert assures me that a small packet of "FortEne"supplied by them will do everything that the regular "Fortune" will do, but with less side effects and at only 25% of the cost.

I think I'll try some.
_________________
Age and cunning will always beat youth and talent.

TechnoAtheist · Überdork Joined: 08 Aug 2002 Posts: 922 Location: !Boise

Good Luck with that.

Or at the least, Luck minus substantial savings!
_________________
The Grayhound Chronicles
"TGC is less like a web serial and more like the Al Azif in bite-size form."
--~Steve-o

Narratio · Posted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 5:01 am Post subject:

While I recieved a packet of FDDA approved FortEne. I quickly won $7.50 on the local lottery. On the other hand my dog has come down with mange, some sort of blight has struck the mango tree, the water has been cut off due to a mains pump failure and I've lost one button on 5 different shirts.

I wonder if it's all connected?
_________________
Age and cunning will always beat youth and talent.

Narratio · Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2007 10:26 pm Post subject:

Gentlemen.... And JIM of course.
Another Xmas has come, whimpered in pain and disappeared like one of my sisters in law and a kilo bag of ganja.

Once again I worked through Xmas and it looks like I'll work through the New Year too. We did get to leave site and go back to the camp 2 hours early on Xmas day, which was a pleasent surprise. But the camp was in the middle of a power failure and it was -16C (plus the wind chill). So we all huddled in the canteen until power was retored. Ended up having dinner 2 hours later than normal and it was just bread and cheese, soup, fruit and a mug of tea. I love my life.

Hope yours was far, far better and life treats you well for the upcoming year.
_________________
Age and cunning will always beat youth and talent.

TechnoAtheist · Überdork Joined: 08 Aug 2002 Posts: 922 Location: !Boise

Frankly, yes. It is. This of course I suspect to change now that I've said so, so feel free to watch the nightly news for pending reports of asteroid strikes near San Jose.

Consider your guilting a more than sufficient reminder that I really need to get the hell off my keyboard and do some serious (wait, no, the opposite of that) writing again, if for no other reason than to give you something to giggle about.

Well, other than winning the bet as to who will be the last to get frostbite.

As always, stay safe, stay warm, and all the best in the coming new year. May it make the previous years whimper in shame.
_________________
The Grayhound Chronicles
"TGC is less like a web serial and more like the Al Azif in bite-size form."
--~Steve-o

Ghostbear · Scamp Joined: 15 Mar 2003 Posts: 74

Does this mean more stories?

Happy New Year to all of you. And yes, JR, there's more than one reader/victim left out here.

Narratio · Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 10:37 pm Post subject:

And somewhere, lurking in a foul dank cave whimpers Maracus. Caught in fevered dreams about the GC and lamely flailing at his keyboard, unable to get the 'audit' story out of his head.
.
He promised and he promised...
_________________
Age and cunning will always beat youth and talent.

Narratio · Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:17 pm Post subject:

I waaaaaaaaant myyyyyyyy Geee Aiiiich Seeeeeee... But where is my Maracus? Answer: Missing presumed employed in a high salary job somewhere in the civil sector of the Canadian economy. Up to his armpits in hot and cold running secretaries... Sorry. "Administrative Assistants".

At this point I'm forced to write it myself... goshorz darn it!
_________________
Age and cunning will always beat youth and talent.

Narratio · Posted: Fri May 09, 2008 10:12 pm Post subject:

Everyday I prowl by, looking for scent or sign of Maracus. But nothing. Mad

Everyday I retire to my palatial cave and weep acidic tears. Sad

Can it be that Maracus has gone commercial? Confused

Is he now a highly paid ghost writer somewhere in Hollywood? Shocked

_________________
Age and cunning will always beat youth and talent.

Narratio · Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:23 pm Post subject:

And so a year passes. Am I upset? Am I annoyed or tetched in any way? Could I be... dare I say it... peeved?

Nah.
I just sit and dream of the good old days... <Waaaaaaahhhh> Sad

So, Happy New Year people, ghosts of the past, onlookers and script kiddies.
_________________
Age and cunning will always beat youth and talent.

	unitedHeroes.net Forum Index -> UnitedHeroes General Discussion	All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1