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Ununnilium
Scamp
Scamp


Joined: 01 Nov 2002
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Location: The planet in the same orbit as Earth but perpetually on the other side of the sun

PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2002 4:31 pm    Post subject: Fairy tale Reply with quote

Long, long ago, in the land of Blue-on-hill, lived an old man and his granddaughter. The old man was close to death, and his granddaugter was very young, and not wise in the ways of the world. So, he called her over, and bade her listen.

"Once, in my youth," he said, "I knew a brave hero. Strong, handsome, honorable, and kind, he fought tirelessly to bring succor to all men. In time, we parted ways. So that I would always remember him, he gave me this ring, his family crest emblazoned upon it."

"Now take this ring, and go; go and find this hero, and find your destiny."

And the old man fell asleep for the last time.

Andrew "NO .SIG MAN" "Juan" Perron, I have no idea where I'm going with this.
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TechnoAtheist
Überdork
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Joined: 08 Aug 2002
Posts: 922
Location: !Boise

PostPosted: Fri Nov 22, 2002 4:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The girl cried as she refilled the old man's Expresso IV pump. She gathered her few meager belongings into a small case and set forth on the road to begin her quest.

She first travelled to the lands to the south where she asked many where she may find this Knight. They told her that they knew of no such man, and that she should consider letting her hair grow long and wear a thong. She next travelled to a cold island nation where the air would hang heavy in fog. There she met many who also did not know of whom she sought, but beat her up anyway since she wasn't a fan of Manchester United.

After checking her notes to see that the old man had said SUCCOR, and not SOCCER, she once again set out to find her knight.
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Japanimation Fist
Dark Lord Dragon Cat
Dark Lord Dragon Cat


Joined: 19 Aug 2002
Posts: 183
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Sun Nov 24, 2002 8:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

After several years spent fruitlessly searching high and low for signs of her hero she began to have doubts. Should she have let her grandmother know that she was leaving, or perhaps her parents? These doubts ate away at her reslve, but there was little she could do about them since she had wandered so far that she could no longer remember the way back.

She found herself one day, on the outskirts of a large village with a very large car-park. Beyond the village gates should see a beautiful, blue castle, and a large variety of scantily dressed, sunburnt tourists cavorting with giant rodents.

"This must be the place," she thought to herself. "The place where I uncover my destiny!"
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TechnoAtheist
Überdork
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Location: !Boise

PostPosted: Sun Nov 24, 2002 12:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

She paid her enterance fee and joined the bustling crowd as it made it's way past wonderous sites. There were nearly countless shops selling wonders made of light yet reasonably durable materials.

"This kingdom must be truely wonderous and prosperous." She thought. "This simple hat with it's two oddly shaped peaks would never have been sold for this much back home, yet everywhere I turn I see people wearing them. She paid the clean cut young man behind the counter, then paused.

The young man was about her age and wore a symbol similar to the one on the ring she carried next to her heart. She felt her heart skip as excitement raced through her (Or possibly it was the 64 oz. heavily caffinated soda she had drunk earlier, but never mind) She looked at a small plaque beneath the crest. It said simply "Stan".

"Tell me," She said in a quivering voice as she tried to hide her excitement. "Where can I meet the one behind that crest?"

The man smiled softly and said, "I will be done in this shop at six. Perhaps we can meet then?"

She smiled, suddenly embarrased by what she realized had happened. She said nothing as she turned and left the shop. She had little intention of meeting the man later, for she had come too long and far for simply one Knight's Stan.
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Dark Lord Dragon Cat
Dark Lord Dragon Cat


Joined: 19 Aug 2002
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 22, 2002 12:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not far away, on the back of a silver-haired monkey, Angelica the Cute was demonstrating her skill in the "All-summer-long, All-Monkey-Rodeo".

Angelica was no stranger to the tragic search for significant others. She had had her own share of one Knight's Stan, and knew the difference between lovers and levers [pronounced 'leever']. In fact, she had set out on her own quest nearly a decade ago, in search of 'the one with the pouty lips'.

After years of frustration and Finnish ministers she had taken up with a colony of silver monkies who welcomed her as one of their own. Together they lived in peace and harmony until the great white monkey hunters took them all captive, and trained them to be rodeo clowns.

The great white monkey hunters soon determined that Angelica was not herself a monkey, and saw potential for an act they could take on the road. Angelica became a world-class monkey-rider, but she still longed for the love of her life.

Little did Angelica know that fate would soon bring her to meet her one and only.
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Narratio
Sufficient
Sufficient


Joined: 23 Oct 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 10:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not many knew him, but Jack was the janitor of the "All-summer-long, All-Monkey-Rodeo". He too had left his home a long time ago in search of his true, destined love. He'd had a list of things to look for in the perfect woman told to him by his Father, two Uncles, Grandfather and three wandering loofah salesmen. Now he compared all the women he met against this list and, to date, all had failed to meet his criteria.

First was 'legs up to her chin'. Jack wasn't sure about this, his mothers had stopped at her hips and there had been quite a bit of body seperating her chin and legs. But the 3 salesmen had insisted that this was so and his other relatives had agreed.

Second was 'small hands to make your Johnson look bigger'. As Jack wasn't sure what a Johnson was, or evn if he had one, he'd figured it wasn't that important. Neither had his grandfather. 'Size ain't everything' he'd intoned wisely.

Thirdly was the ability to 'suck a golf ball though a garden home'. Jack had never been sure about this but, in his travels, had dutifully stopped at every workshop, hardware store or circus carnival and asked if anybody had the equipment or skill set to perform this act. To date all he'd recieved were blank looks or laughter. Clearly this was an important ability if it was so rare that all men were looking for it. He'd unofficially moved up his list to the number one slot.

Currently the list resided in the top pocket of his overalls as he approached the worn out monkey and began the task of hosing it down and lancing any boils that may have popped up. He knew deep in his heart that his love, who currently was not aware of Jacks existence would soon be found. Maybe it would be after he finished mucking out the mens toilets?

There was a feeling in the air that soon everything would change. Nothing would ever be the same at the "All-summer-long, All-Monkey-Rodeo"
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