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Hetta · Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2004 1:33 am Post subject: New story

It was a dark and stormy night, and it was John's turn to change auntie's bucket.
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Maracus · Posted: Tue Jun 22, 2004 11:16 am Post subject:

So it was with great trepidation that John climbed the creaking stairs, and lifted the seldom lifted latch to the attic.
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Maracus · Posted: Wed Aug 11, 2004 2:38 pm Post subject:

Cold air whistled through the warped edges of the door. No matter how stifling hot the rest of the house was, auntie's attic always seemed to hover a reluctant degree above freezing.

TechnoAtheist · Überdork Joined: 08 Aug 2002 Posts: 922 Location: !Boise

As he reached for the door, he heard her gurgle. A chill raced up his spine that did not come from the air circulating around his ankles. He knew he should feel sorry for poor Aunt Rusalka, what with her rather severe case of osteo-perosis, but it didn't make dealing with the matter any easier.
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Hetta · Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 1:16 am Post subject:

He opened the door and managed to get in a fast "Hi auntie!" before her bloodcurdling scream curdled his blood.
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Maracus · Posted: Thu Aug 12, 2004 11:27 am Post subject:

There are advantages to having a water dryad for an Aunt, but the screeching, searing Dryadic language, and the regular changing of the bucket were not among them.
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Maracus · Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2004 8:45 am Post subject:

On the other hand, having a touch of the immortal in you likens you unto a life insurer's wet dream.
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Maracus · Posted: Wed Aug 25, 2004 2:03 pm Post subject:

So John decided to say something random in an effort to start a dialogue....
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TechnoAtheist · Überdork Joined: 08 Aug 2002 Posts: 922 Location: !Boise

"Sooo..." he started casually, "How's about them Yank--" Rusalka's wailing howl sent plumes of dust raining from the rafters. Her unearthly howl cracked the leather bindings of the darker books lingering in the shadows and sent the attic's creatures scurrying for protection.

"Ah, right. Sorry." John stumbled, "You're a Mets fan."

He decided that maybe Auntie was just being a bit cross since her bucket was beginning to show signs of wear. He decided that he should simply get to the task at hand.

That's when the cold, stark realization of the magnitude of his mistake struck him.
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"TGC is less like a web serial and more like the Al Azif in bite-size form."
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bobthegoat · Posted: Sat Sep 11, 2004 1:58 am Post subject:

He raced to get back through the door before Aunt Rusalka could notice the roll of Bounty, the quicker picker-upper.
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Maracus · Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 3:10 pm Post subject:

It was too late though, as her dryadic screech became agonizing english to his terrified ears.

"I told you to make sure that you only bought towels made from 100% recycled paper, do you know how many dryads died to make those?"

EDITI would like to apologize for my horrible dryad pun. So horrible in fact that I didn't even realize I'd made it until I read TA's response.
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TechnoAtheist · Überdork Joined: 08 Aug 2002 Posts: 922 Location: !Boise

In fact, it was a dark, little known secret that what made those papertowels so absorbent were the ground up dryads, thus sparing the far rarer slightlydampads from a similar fate. (It's also best not to ask questions about the demise of the winged maxip-ads.)
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The Grayhound Chronicles
"TGC is less like a web serial and more like the Al Azif in bite-size form."
--~Steve-o

bobthegoat · Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 11:04 pm Post subject:

"Look," I said, "if you'd quit splashing so much I wouldn't have to use these to clean up. It would also save the house from dryrot."

Aunt Rusalka spouted in annoyance. "I guess next you're going threaten me with a sponge! If only the elder abuse hotline dealt with metaphysical creatures!"
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Narratio · Posted: Sat Oct 23, 2004 8:04 am Post subject:

Bucket in hand, John considered telling of the younger abuse line which did counsel metaphysical creatures, but his back was starting to spasm. So he slowly staggered backwards towards the half open attic door. It was never a good idea to turn your back on Auntie Rusalka. Ever since she'd discovered that the company which made drypads also made tampons, she'd developed a very nasty habit.

"Back in a minute Auntie! I'll just the get your other bucket."

This, if he remembered rightly was still full and sitting in the garage slowly fermenting.
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