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TechnoAtheist
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 Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2003 1:36 pm Post subject: chapther 50 |
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I've discovered something.
When I write, I need to turn off the TV. Unlike my less slackerly cohorts, I really didn't get much done on the next chapter, just three pages.
I did manage to get a fair lot more of the Super Sikret Project v2 done, and if this chapter is short on jokes, I'll blame that.
Still I'm hoping to get this one done, written and posted by this weekend since I won't be around on saturday and sunday. I'll be off to Davis to visit friends and cows.
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JIM
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| Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2003 1:53 pm Post subject: |
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Say hi to the cows for me.
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steveo
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| Posted: Mon Mar 31, 2003 2:00 pm Post subject: Re: chapther 50 |
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| TechnoAtheist wrote: | | I'll be off to Davis to visit friends and cows. |
If that's not source material, I don't know what is.
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steveo
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2003 6:07 pm Post subject: |
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Ok, I just finished 50. Why do I get the feeling I missed something?
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TechnoAtheist
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2003 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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| steveo wrote: | | Ok, I just finished 50. Why do I get the feeling I missed something? |
Ok, valid feedback, and something i wasn't quite sure of. There are a few things still up in the air, and this chapter doesn't really address any of them.
1. Are the Americans (RUA) and Canadians (CSOC) still in Civil War?
2. What happened to Fred and The Y-Guys?
3. What's Zrng doing during the day?
4. Why does Bob like the old truck he's got in the garage?
5. Where is Krullux?
There are a few story threads that are actually going on though.
1. What is the problem with The Facility?
2. Why is Chris so interested in it?
3. What's life like there?
4. What else can go wrong in Chris' life?
Ok, the last one is truly never ending, but being nearly killed by someone you like, who makes it quite clear she does not feel the same way toward you, definitely makes an impression, or two.
As for how Sandra got there, plain and simple, her paperwork finally went through. One can only presume that JB had an early hand in some of that, but the Wheels of Bureaucracy do actually turn from time to time.
I'd probably note that Sandra has no idea of the fact that Chris did not have the best of times against either Fred or the Y-Guys, nor does she know about the Pitfall Perp, so there is some disconnect between what you the reader know and what some of the characters know.
As for any future plot lines, one must consider that finding someone you've told to "get lost" is probably not going to be as easy as finding someone you know very well where they are and that they're not going to be leaving there anytime soon.
Is that what you feel that you're missing?
Or am I missing something?
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steveo
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2003 7:32 pm Post subject: |
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| TechnoAtheist wrote: | | Is that what you feel that you're missing? |
Most of it.
| Quote: | | Or am I missing something? |
One last thing, I thought she knew Chris was the reason her sisters were in the Facility. So what's she pissed about?
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TechnoAtheist
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| Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2003 9:01 pm Post subject: |
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| steveo wrote: | | TechnoAtheist wrote: | | Is that what you feel that you're missing? |
Most of it.
| Quote: | | Or am I missing something? |
One last thing, I thought she knew Chris was the reason her sisters were in the Facility. So what's she pissed about? |
She did. Hell, she made that painfully clear when he first showed up at the meeting to hire her as Mark's tutor. The "carrots" that were held out were the fact that Chris was willing to pay her to tutor Mark, and that JB was willing to do whatever he could to help her see her sisters.
Visitors are fairly uncommon at the Facility (although they were thought about, just not very clearly. An example is the fact that there's a huge parking lot for what was in effect a one-on-one visitation room and the fact that some items were painted more than used).
Basically Sandra's pissed for any number of reasons such as:
1. She had let herself forget that Chris was the person she was angry at. (She introduced him to her folks fer crepes sakes)
2. She had no idea how bad The Facility was until she had gone there.
In all fairness, I'm willing to bet that a good number of folks have no idea what that place is like. As mentioned a few times, the majority of folks tend to get checked in and either "disappear" or get "rehabilitated". Sometimes one classification happily overlaps the other. For the most part, everyone blissfully ignores it. Good Guys fight Bad Guys and send them "away" without ever thinking where "away" is.
Chris undoubtedly fell into that group very early on, being a strong believer in "The System". It was only after he had good reason that he started finding out about it. The first indication that Chris had felt something was amiss was the final confrontation with the Ferrite Chef, and probably the principle reason that he let Edward go.
With even more research he's delving deeper into the problem as a whole.
Ok, I know I need to explain this more within the storyline, and I'll be sure to do so, but I figured I should explain where the h-e-double-hockeysticks things are going.
[just livin' up to my .sig ⇓↓]
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Matthew Davey
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| Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2003 7:52 am Post subject: |
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I enjoyed it, yes it was confusing, but hten, when isn't it?
Can't wait for the next episode, and you seem to have cleared up all of my queries over what was going on.
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JIM
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| Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2003 10:44 am Post subject: |
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I sat down last night to a combined feast of Chapters 48, 49 and 50 -- because what with one thing and another, I hadn't given 49 the attention it deserves, and 50 was just out, and well, 48 was needed as a sort of salad. Anyway, they were delectable.
Nicely done, TA.
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TechnoAtheist
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| Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2003 12:58 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks, just to see if they made sense, I reread those chapters this morning.
And proceeded to clean up some of the writing.
(See, that's the difference between JIM and me. I don't need anyone else telling me I suck, mostly because they'd be restating the obvious.)
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steveo
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| Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2003 1:39 pm Post subject: |
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I guess it does all make sense, and it was all stuff I already knew, but I'll chalk it up to the difference between the male and female brains.
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TechnoAtheist
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| Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2003 2:18 pm Post subject: |
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| steveo wrote: | | I guess it does all make sense, and it was all stuff I already knew, but I'll chalk it up to the difference between the male and female brains. |
Considering that we're both male (at least I am), I'm not quite sure how i should take that.
(well, other than "like a man".)
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steveo
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| Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2003 2:20 pm Post subject: |
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That you write believable female characters.
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TechnoAtheist
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| Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2003 2:56 pm Post subject: |
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| steveo wrote: | | That you write believable female characters. |
Ah, well, then thank you kindly.
(I'd like to blame my wife, As If!, Queen of Wands, The Acadamy, several species of triffid...)
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