Dear Auntie Ora,

I'm told that the ingredients of pemmican differ locally. How do they make it in Saskatchewan?

A speedy reply would be appreciated; the kettle is already on the fire.

Ken Hicks,

They'd finally left, Pythia to check on Llamas in Tibet and Sibyl to look into the possibilities of Lamas in Peru. I'd gotten lots of instructions before they finally climbed into the cab for the airport. Things like "remember the cobwebs and dustbunnies -this- time when you clean the office", and "don't answer any question that's more complicated than 'how do I use a pen?'". Hmmmpfh. Like I was dumb or something. So here I was, sitting with my feet on my desk, painting my nails. I was sooo lucky to find this precise shade last week, on my shopping spree. The others say I squander all of our income, but a gal has to look nice, n'est-ce pas? Anyway, I was planning to relax with the latest copy of "Blonde Weekly" after my nails were dry, when I heard the outer door of the office open. And close again. I got up and opened the inner office door, the one with "HCRAESER CIHPLED" in gold, and "EDNOLBCM ARDNASSAC" in black marker pen beneath that, and saw the local mailboy (he's sooo cute) with an express letter. It said "Urgent. Delphic Research Inc." so I signed for it. And opened it right away. Seems somebody in Saskatchewan needs to know how to make pemmican. Weren't they lucky that this question got to me, not to one of the others?

Making pemmican in Saskatchewan. I didn't know you could make pemmicans. They're birds, ain't they? Big ones, with beaks to store fish in? I suggest you ask your local zoo for a breeding pair. Perhaps they can even lend you an incubator for hatching the eggs or something, I think the kettle might be a bit too hot for that.

Don't worry about the "miscellaneous" on your invoice, that's just some nail polish, a tank top, a miniskirt, fishnet stockings, and high heels.

(... I *do* hope that mailboy likes my new outfit, tonight.)

<seals answer and invoice in envelope, slowly writes address, adds stamp, and drops it into the box marked "mail out">

(There, *that* was easy. Just wait 'til the others see how good I'm at this. Perhaps I get to check pemmicans in the wild next time. ... Now where's my "Blonde Weekly" again?)