Dear Auntie Ora,

I regret to inform you that I have lost my sense of humour. Could you possibly advise me where to start looking for it?

Yours
Steven Kinzler


Ohhh, poor lamb! Must be terrible not to have a sense of humour.

I dunno about that. *You* seem to manage all right.

Hey! I do *so* have a sense of humour! That was a really funny one I said about that prat Steve Irwin and his naff American wife when they got done for animal cruelty on their nature park. You just didn't like it 'cos you're sweet on him.

*sigh* But you're right on one thing - it's pretty sad not to have a sense of humour. What can we do for the poor bugger?

We-e-ell, my Mum used to say that everyone has a bit of good inside. Even when all around is hopeless and eeevil, there's still this spark of good that keeps you going...

Platitudinous crap, Cassie. What's your point?

We-e-ell, when all is lost, it's often just your sense of humour that stops you from giving up, yeah?

Yeah. That and a moonlight back-burning operation with Steve...

Pythia! But you can see what I mean - a little bit of good in everyone *and* the last thing left is often just the sense of humour?

Nah, don't get you...

Hang on a tick. D'ya mean that we've all got a sense of humour - that's the bit of good inside us?

Yeah, zactly. So I guess that means-

That he *hasn't* lost his sense of humour! That it's just inside hiding somewhere!

Yeah! Or maybe it's just so small right now he can't feel it!

Yeah! Right!

Erm... Now what do we do? Sibyl's the real thinker and she's having a day off after reading your latest expenses account.

Well, how can he make his sense of humour bigger? I reckon he should hang out with really funny people and hope some of theirs rubs off.

Hmmm. Nah, if I didn't have a sense of humour, hanging around with a bunch of giggleheads would be awful.

[Giggleheads? Pot, meet Kettle.] You might be right at that. It'd make him feel even less funny. Soooo...

I know! Get him to hang around with people that have really, really *tiny* senses of humour and that way he'll feel funnier and funnier!

Yeah! Okay, what are some seriously unfunny people?

Ummm, computer nerds?

No - look where this guy is from: "Computer Sciences". He's already with them and it's not helping. How about nuns? They're pretty unfunny, y'know. Believe me.

Unfunny? Nuns? You've never seen _Sister_Act_, _Sound_of_Music_ or Sally Fields, have you? How about monks?

Nah, Thelonius Monk would just make him feel even more depressed. I know! You're on exactly the right track, Cassie! Now where's that typewriter?

 

Dear Mr Kinzler,

Fear not! You haven't really lost your sense of humour. It's just hiding away deep inside you.

To bring it out into full bloom, this is all you have to do. Stop hanging around with those life-of-the-party computer geeks at your work. Their brilliant wit will just bring you down.

You have to find the most humourless, pathetic souls around. By contrast, you'll feel completely droll and entertaining. You must spend a lot of time with those who would have no idea if a good joke jumped up and bit them on the bum. Just hang around with a bunch of PRIESTS.

Yours merrily,

Pythia DiStefano
Senior Investigator
Delphic Research Incorporated