Dear Auntie Ora,

Is there an easy way to separate the men from the boys?

As Pythia dashed out of the office on another adventure she asked Sibyl to send her guide of 20 differences between boys and men. This was a question that Pythia didn't need to do new research on - and the team at Delphic Research Inc. had plenty of experience of such things between the three of them.

1. Like to think they're men Know that they are still little boys.
2. Want to grow up fast and get what men have Want to be young again and regain their youth.
3. Want to build their muscles Want to lose weight.
4. Cover walls with photos of girls and cars Cover walls with paint and wallpaper.
5. Don't respect women because they're too soft and girly Like to keep their jobs.
6. Talk about sex instead of doing it Talk about sex when they're doing it.
7. Hit their sexual peak around 17 Hit their sexual peak around 10.30pm.
8. Wear clothes that fit their personalities Wear clothes that fit.
9. Put on an agressive cocky walk Take a cab.
10. Drive small cars fast along suburban streets to meet girls and impress them Drive big cars fast on highways to meet finance directors and impress them.
11. Love their cars Love their no-claims insurance policy.
12. Spend summer weekends on motorcycles Spend summer weekends behind lawnmowers.
13. Play football Watch football.
14. Do their stuff all night and sleep all day Do their stuff all day and sleep all night.
15. Drink 8 pints of beer and are unconscious by 11pm Drink a cup of tea and are unconscious by 10.30pm.
16. Think that smoking makes them look hard Know that giving up smoking is harder.
17. Are proud of their backpacks Are proud of their airmiles.
18. Do 50 press-ups and bench-press 100lb Work 50 hour weeks and repay $100,000 mortgages.
19. Know it all without the benefit of experience Watch the boys learn the hard way.
20. Think that the world is their oyster Know there is no such thing as a free lunch.

Here's an extra one from me: Men plan their families; boys *tell* their families.

I do hope you find all this helpful. There'll be no charge as we had everything to hand, if you'll excuse the expression.

Yours distinctively,