> Who's a cute widdle puppy? Whosa puppikins? Who's my sweetie-poo? Who?
> Who's got puppy breath? Who's got puppy breath? Who's the sweetest little
> smoochiepie in the whole wide world? Oooh, gugugooh!
After having waited forever, seemingly, for the obviously female figure to
walk up the sidewalk, after the taxi door closed, there was a light rap on the
door. Riptile, in his infinite intensity scratched and pawed in anticipation of
meeting Steve's dinner date.
Having noticed a miniature poisonous Puflincta spider in the bathroom, and
having allowed it crawl over his body while he made passionate gestures and
fervent commentary into the lavatory mirror, Steve realised his hair had dried
that awkward state that always manages to find itself in his television work,
that he was late for his rendezvous with Destiny (or was it Cassie, he can't
Wearing his conventional khaki shorts-shirt combo and his dark socks and
Yakkas, Steve answered the door with Riptile pacing the floor with zealous
intensity. "G'day Destiny, come on in. Welcome to MY home," Steve barks
"Thanks Steve, but my name is Cassie, right? Ooooh. Look at the puppy."
"Her nime is Riptile, Cassie, and she's a REAL dingo just like we would find
running around WOILD in our zoo"
Cassidy turns to Riptile who's been sniffing her ankles and pissing on the
foyer floor since she walked in, and says "Who's a cute widdle puppy? Whosa
puppikins? Who's my sweetie-poo? Who? Who's got puppy breath? Who's got puppy
breath? Who's the sweetest little smoochiepie in the whole wide world? Oooh,
"Ooh ghod," thinks Riptile. "I detest this demeaning diatribe.
get upset if I bite this ditsy blond but everyone likes a good-ole game of 'hide
As Steve babbles on about the traits that distinguish dingoes from other dogs
such as the way their ears stay perked-up continually, the way they yelp
instead of bark, and the difference in their gait, Riptile slides a cool wet nose
Cassie's skirt causing her to blurt a high pitched yelp that startles even
Steve briefly. Excitedly, Riptile lunges into a leg dance with the now
apprehensive young lady who attempts to unshackle her leg by shaking it free.
At this point, Steve has begun telling Cassie that dingoes were favoured as
hunting dogs by the Aborigines and were probably brought over 3 to 4000 years
ago by Asian fishermen. Finally, she discovers that her only hope is to slide
her leg free from Riptile. As she lifts her leg, the red, four-inch pump slides
free. Riptile yelps, in his best English > -> as he would, "Bingo!"
liberated pump in mouth, Riptile heads for the open door. Steve explains that
dingoes can be found in all of mainland Straya near any natural water sources.
Riptile is already covering the 30cm hole, pump within, when Cassie reaches
the front steps in a rigorous, one-legged bunny hop. As Steve explains that the
dingo's diet consists of native mammals, including kangaroos, some domestic
animals and some farm stock, Cassie takes a seat on the steps and begins to swear
"Never to talk baby-talk to a dog again." Riptile smiles, as dogs do.