> Hoy, you, the one in the toga!
>
> Why can't a woman be more like a man?
>
> Henry Higgins


I'd rather reverse that, Mr. Higgins. Cassie, Sibyl, get in here. I
want to ask you something....

<music>

Pythia:
Why can't a man be more like a woman?
Women are honest, so thoroughly fair;
Eternally gorgeous, with fabulous hair.
Who when you're in trouble will always give you support.
Why can't a man be that sort?
Why do they all do what the others do?
Can't a man learn to use his head?
And why do they do everything their fathers do?
Why don't they grow up like themselves instead?
Why can't a man take after a woman?
Woman are pleasant, so easy to please;
Whenever you're with them, you're always at ease.
Would you be slighted if I took hours to dress?

Sibyl:
Of course not!

Pythia:
Would you be livid if I had a boy or two?

Cassie:
Duh!

Pythia:
Would you be wounded if I never forgot a transgress?

Sibyl:
Never.

Pythia:
Why can't a man be like you?
One woman in a million may make a scene.
Now and then there's one with slight defects.
One perhaps whose heart is regarded mean.
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Why can't a man behave like a woman?
Woman are so friendly, good-natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.
If I were hours in the shower would you cry out?

Cassie:
Of course not.

Pythia:
If I celebrate your birthday, would you fuss?

Sibyl:
Nonsense.

Pythia:
Would you complain if my sex life was in drought?

Cassie:
Never.

Pythia:
Why can't men be like us?
Why can't a man be more like a woman?
Women are decent, such wonderful gals.
Ready to help you; we'll be good pals.
Ready to talk to you whenever you're down.
Why can't a man just be around?
Why is thinking something men never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straightening up their pants is all they ever do,
And usually that's from deep deep inside.
Why can't a man be more like a girl?
If I were a man who'd been to a ball,
Escorting a princess to meet one and all,
Would I take credit for all that she had done?
Carry on as if -I- were the queen?
Would I sit on my ass and not look for me when I've gone?
Why is a man just so obscene?

</music>

Cassie:
Beats me, Pyth. Can I go now? I've got to paint my toenails.

Pythia:
{sigh}