Dear Auntie Ora

Do pictures of human's faces and landscapes have anything in common?


That's such a weird idea. Why would pictures of countryside and turds be at all similar?
Pythia!
Well, if the country had been flooded, I s'pose there would be a lot of brown squishyness in common. Not to mention strange little objects poking out at odd angles from the...
Eeeeeeewwwwwwww. Sibyl, make her stop!
Yes, of course, Cassie. There, there, have a tissue.
Pythia!
What?
Has everything we went through in last week's deportment classes gone *entirely* out of your head?
Erm, that was the books-on-head and not spitting, nose-picking or groin-scratching, thing, yeah?
Hmph! Like any of it would sink in anyway, she's as oogy as a *boy* sometimes.
Yes, Cassie, one of the few areas we not only agree on, but where you also outrank her.
Hey! Fifty-three ways from breakfast I could take Cassie and beat the living sh--
PYTHIA!
Oops. Ummm, yes, Sibyl? What is it?
Language, m'dear, language.
What, to Cassie?
Well, yes, that would be a start. But I really meant to the customers.
Language? To a customer? Me? Where? When?
[sigh] Just look back at the request, dear.
This one, right here? Oh. You think "turds" is a little strong, yeah?
Not just strong, dear. Read the question again.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, *FACES*!

Invoice:
Deportment classes: 3x2hrs, $47.50/hr $285.00
Repairs and replacements for Miss Witherspoon's House for Frahtfully Nayce Gels:
   Books, fallen off head $32.60
   Tea service, broken (Dalton) $375.00
   High-heeled pumps, 3pr $197.85
   Hand restraints:
      Posterior No-scratch $34.95
      Posterior No-scratch (reverse-fitted model) $39.95
      Nose anti-picker (3 @ $12.95 ea) $38.85
_______
SUB-TOTAL $719.20
Eight days, all expenses paid at Club Med, Noumea for Mesdamoiselles Witherspoon and Grimsdick (companion) $2,137.84
[In lieu of cash settlement, conservatively estimated at $32,567.00 by Buckleys & Nunn, Solicitors]
Repeat of deportment classes at Madame Tussaud's Acadamie for Firmly Moulding Headstrong Lasses: 4x3hrs, $54.95/hr $659.40
TOTAL $3801.44