Dear Aunt Ora

Do you really think that artifical intelligence will ever replace the bartender?


Of course not. Certainly, at some time in the future, a machine intelligence may develop which can mix any drink known to man and beyond. However, there is that certain something which can never be replaced. Would we have swooned to Sinatra had he crooned, "So set'em up, Drinkintosh IIci"?

Additionally, an entire genre of humour would disappear. For example - Cassie?

"Hey, stop that - besides, my name's not John Rah."

No, Cassie, that was an invitation. You recall the witticism you related at the last office party?

"Oh! You mean I get to tell my joke? Okay okay! Um.. okay, a termite walks into a bar. He sits down and takes this little ten-inch tuba player out of his pocket and sets him down on the bar. So the bartender comes up and says to the termite, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!', and the termite says... 'That's what she said!'! Hee hee hee!"


[pregnant pause]


"Oh pooh. I think maybe I was supposed to shout 'Drink!' or something."

Thank you, Cassie. You can see at once the deep cultural tradition that would be lost should the bartender disappear.

"Sibyl, I have this weird desire to say 'You owe the Oracle a ginnantonnix' now."

Resist the urge, Cassie dear. Resist the urge.