Dear Auntie Ora,

Wow. When you walk into a room, people really take notice. I was wondering if you could help me devise a walk like that.


Sibyl:
  Oh dear, this is awkward. Which one of us is he referring to? There's no indication.
     
Pythia:
  Well, it's not you. Nobody notices you walking into a room.
     
Cassie:
  Me! Me! I can answer this one!
     
Sibyl:
  I'm almost tempted to agree. But when you consider it, you're not exactly a model of deportment, are you, Cassie dear?
     
Cassie:
  What?
     
Sibyl:
  You slouch, child!
     
Cassie:
  I do not!
     
Pythia:
  Okay, by elimination it's me. Hand over the question. I'll give this guy a few pointers on attracting attention when he enters a room.
     
Sibyl:
  Nothing too violent, I hope?
     
Cassie:
  Well, that's just wack!
     
Pythia:
  Wack?
     
Sibyl:
  Wack?
     
Cassie:
  You're not pronouncing it right. It's wack!
     
Sibyl:
  Wack?
     
Pythia:
  Wack, apparently.
     
Sibyl:
  Are Donald Duck impersonations consistent with the dignity of our status as professional information consultants?
     
Pythia:
  Don't ask me - ask Ms. Townie, here.
     
Cassie:
  I'm not a townie!
     
Pythia:
  Yeah, right.
     
Sibyl:
  Is wack good or bad?
     
Cassie:
  Wack is not good! Wack is well scummy!
     
Sibyl:
  You know what I love about this job? It's an ongoing education.
     
Pythia:
  Yeah. In this case, on how to be a townie.
     
Cassie:
  I'm nothing like a townie! Townies wear huge trainers and puffer jackets and line up against opposite walls in the mall, and then one of the boys yells to one of the girls, "Hey Ria, come over here!" and one of the other girls yells back, "She's not coming! You come over here!" That's townies! I don't do anything like that!
     
Pythia:
  I knew it - she's lost her marbles.
     
Cassie:
  It's what they do!
     
Sibyl:
  She's just teasing, dear.
     
Cassie:
  Townies are wack!
     
Pythia:
  Right, here goes.
AUNTIE ORA'S TOP 10 WAYS OF WALKING INTO A ROOM SO PEOPLE TAKE NOTICE

10. Don't wash for 2 weeks beforehand.
9. Carry a dead stag slung over your shoulder and poke people with the antlers as you pass.
8. Before entering, lob in a gas grenade and then...
Sibyl:
  Pythia dear, he's specifically after help devising a walk, not simply getting people's attention by any means.
     
Pythia:
  What, you mean he wants to enter a room like John Cleese in a Python sketch? The guy's a nutter!
     
Sibyl:
  On reflection, I think Cassandra should answer the question after all.
     
Cassie:
  Coolissimo! Watch this!
Hi there, Customer!
The secret of a good eye-catching entrance is all in the heels. The higher the heels, the more your bum sticks out at the back and your boobs stick out at the front, which can't be bad, can it? Also, if you go for stilettos, it's much harder to keep your balance, so instead of walking in a straight line you stagger all over the room bumping into people, which is a great way to start up all sorts of conversations. Imagine walking with the aid of an invisible Zimmer frame mounted on twisty supermarket trolley wheels - that's the general effect. Now, for some really serious attention-grabbing...
Sibyl:
  I have a sneaking suspicion we'll not be justified in charging an awful lot for this one.
   
Pythia:
  Since when has that ever stopped us?