jr conlin's ink stained banana

i admit it, i love Halloween. Not particularly the same way as folks who visit "Christmas Shoppes" in the middle of July while at the beach, but i'm a fan of the season none the less. There are plenty of things i do that are nearly as bad, though (e.g. the foam skull i keep on my desk at work (with sunglasses), the severed leg i've got in my drawer (always fun to pull that out when someone asks me for a cable), and the fact that you can usually find me in one of the various "Halloween Superstores" throughout the month of October).

Unfortunately, there is one problem i have with the holiday.

My head's too damn big.

No kidding. It's around 24" in circumference. A fine fat head far larger than the brain it may contain.

Where this freakish cranium raises it's… uhm… head.. is with things like masks and costume hats and whatnot. Basically, i can't fit into the vast majority of them. A fine example of this was last night when i spotted a rather nice Viking helmet i figure i could wear while doling out the candy and lightsticks. (Lots of good potential to that. Start off with the little kids and add marshmallows to the tips of the horns. Later in the night switch to severed hands and brains.)

A large guy had just tried it on. This was a bear of a man who stood nearly a foot over me. He had just complained that the thing was too big.

"Really? Spiff! Then it should fit me!"

"Oh, yeah, no problem for someone you're size."

"i wouldn't be too sure of that."

"Why? Oh. Man you've got a big head!"

Same goes for any number of masks unless they really are huge. Otherwise it looks like Batman's going to explode at any minute.

Ah well, at least there are more than a few days left and several hundred other shops to go to.

Hmm.. Or i suppose i could just wear a bright green pants, red cape, purple mask and a yellow shirt with a red, white and blue P on it, but i don't think that anyone else would get it…