It's been proposed that Pirates
are the new Monkeys, the group guaranteed to get a laugh just because they're
funny. While i'm not one to argue with the fickle mind of the population, i
am always curious as to why it is that Pirates and Monkeys are considered funny.
To that end, i've decided to create the following helpful chart.
| Monkeys | Pirates | |
| Communicates in an indecipherable manner: |
Ook-Eeek-Eeep | Arr-Aye-Rhutabega |
| Tends to be dressed in humorous ways |
Little tuxedoes or golf pants |
Frilly shirts and feathers |
| Potentially highly dangerous in real life |
Carry multitudes of diseases and are generally far stronger than they appear |
Prefered not leaving witnesses alive. |
| Buries Treasure |
In piles of leaves |
On sandy isles |
| Would you want to find that treasure? |
No | Yes. Hey, they're not a perfect match. |
| Could sue you for character defamation: |
No, they generally can't read |
ditto |
So, obviously, the similarities
are not only present, but well accountable. This means that the next big source natural comedians would be some group that also shares
of cheap laughs
these traits. Unfortunately, the above traits tend to eliminate groups like
foreign nationals, politicians, lawyers, dung beetles, broccolli, and members
of the Flat Earth Society.
It doesn't, however, elimiate
aliens, except for the fact that they tend to run around naked, steal cows and
do unneccessary probing.
This leaves, of course, the
new group that will guarantee good times for years on end, those wacky Homo
Erectus guys. Yep, not only were these potential progenetors of Homo
Sapien (a point growing currently under debate as earlier evidence of Homo
Habilis have potentially spurred this group into their own branch which
eventually dead-ended, but let me tell you, these guys were a hoot in the rollicking
Middle Pleistocene Era!
Ok, ok, they're not that
funny at all.
i'll keep poking around.
(Geez, some folks are never
satisfied…)
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